Practicing silence makes us better humans—and better leaders, negotiators, and professionals. While that might sound overstated, it’s true. In executive leadership training programs, the importance of silence is often discussed because it is a tool that transforms both relationships and results. I learned the power of silence firsthand during intense negotiations by focusing on the mantra, “the first one who talks loses.” Though it felt uncomfortable at first, it became a critical skill for influencing outcomes.

In negotiations, silence creates space for thought, creativity, and reflection, leading to more intentional responses. Whether you’re a leader in C-suite development strategies or simply trying to improve your personal relationships, practicing silence is essential.

Why Silence Makes Us Better Humans

When we allow silence to linger, something important happens: it gives people the space to process, reflect, and offer more thoughtful responses. Silence is transformative. As I’ve coached individuals and teams, I’ve seen how creating that silence allows others to move into unexpected spaces. Often, people arrive at conclusions or new perspectives they wouldn’t have without that pause.

According to experts at Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation, silence can help defuse anchors, mitigate cognitive biases, and allow for valuable thinking time. They call this the process of "going to the balcony"—stepping back from the situation to gain a clearer perspective on heated discussions​(PON at Harvard). This is particularly useful in high-pressure negotiations, where silence can calm tensions and provide space for more strategic responses.

Here are three ways to practice silence so you can experience its influence:

1. Home Court Advantage: Use Silence with Those Closest to You Research shows that we often listen less attentively to the people we care about most. We fall into familiar conversational patterns, assuming we know what they’ll say next. This passive listening creates distance. However, when we intentionally practice silence, we interrupt these patterns, signaling that we’re fully present in the conversation.

For leaders working on executive leadership skills, this practice of silence can also strengthen personal and professional relationships, creating deeper connections. When people feel heard, trust grows, which is key to leadership success.

2. Make Your Point and Stop Talking When we’re passionate about a topic, we tend to keep elaborating or reinforcing our point, adding evidence or restating our position. However, in strategic leadership development or negotiations, saying your piece and then allowing silence to linger shows confidence and allows you to gauge the other party’s reaction.

In a high-stakes negotiation, this pause can be especially powerful. MIT Sloan suggests that silence improves outcomes for both parties, encouraging reflection and creative solutions. By allowing silence to linger, negotiators can move beyond a "fixed pie" mentality and find new ways to expand value​(MIT Sloan).

3. Let Them Finish (and Then Wait) The next time you’re in a conversation, practice not only waiting for the other person to finish speaking but also inserting a brief silence after their statement. This small pause encourages the other person to share more—sometimes providing critical information they initially withheld.

In executive coaching services, leaders are often taught that silence signals confidence, patience, and deep listening. It creates space for the other person to feel valued and heard, improving engagement and strengthening relationships. The additional information shared during that silence might even unlock creative solutions.

However, INSEAD Knowledge reminds us that cultural differences may play a role in how silence is perceived. While silence may create discomfort in some cultures, in others, such as Japan, it is seen as an opportunity to "read the air"—allowing time for deeper understanding and interpretation​(INSEAD Knowledge).

Using Silence in Negotiations and Leadership

In negotiation awareness, silence is a powerful tool. It creates opportunities for the other party to rethink their position, come up with new ideas, or adjust their approach. But it feels awkward if you’re not used to it, especially in everyday conversations.

To build this skill, start practicing silence in daily interactions. As you become more comfortable with it, it will become second nature. A good tip is to count to seven in your head after someone speaks, allowing the silence to linger and create impact. The more you try it, the less awkward it will feel.

Conclusion: Silence Makes Us Better Leaders and Humans Mastering silence can transform how you communicate in both personal and professional settings. As you practice silence, your relationships will grow deeper, and your leadership effectiveness will increase. Silence allows you to build trust, create space for others, and gain valuable insights that would otherwise be missed. And when you move from simple silence to embracing “awkward silence,” you’ll take your communication skills to a whole new level.



Takeaway: Start small. In your next meeting or conversation, intentionally pause and let silence do the heavy lifting. You’ll soon discover how powerful it can be for both leadership development and building stronger relationships.